Tag Archives: weather

when your snot freezes

yeah, i went there.

as i rolled out of bed this morning, i seriously debated if i should drive to work. the minus seven temperature that displayed on my weather.com app, or the fact that authentic weather was telling me that it’s “hypo fucking thermic” outside was enough to convince me that skipping standing at the bus stop was the route to go.


but, as the morning carried on, and i showered, took katy out for a short walk, and finished getting ready, the doom of paying $10 to park set in. or the fact that the roads are still crappy.

so, i bundled up as best i could, turned on the ipod, and set off for the bus stop. and, that second i stepped outside i couldn’t breathe. the brutal cold literally took my breath away. and, i’ll be honest, the snot in my nose immediately froze.

i was instantly transported back to my childhood, to snow days. snow days filled with sledding down art hill in saint louis, building snowmen in the front yard, and tossing snow at every friend within throwing distance. i found myself chuckling over the fact that as a kid, if the weather is cold enough, your snot would freeze. and how hilariously funny you thought it was.

as the bus pulled up, i’m pretty sure the other two people standing at my stop were wondering what the hell i was laughing over. if they only knew it was my boogers.

i get it. midwest weather is unpredictable.

hey st. louis, i have a bone to pick with you.¬†and, given i’m a native midwesterner, i’m allowed to pick on you.

having spent more than 26 years of my life in st. louis, i know how unpredictable the weather can be. one day they say it’ll snow, but really it rains. or it’s supposed to be 75 degrees, but it ends up being 45. cool story.

so, what’s my issue? you know, when it snows, and everyone in st. louis freaks out. the roads are crappy, they didn’t plow or salt. the grocery store is out of milk and bread. and, what was the weather outcome? they only received an inch or two of snow.

well, let me tell you a little story. we don’t plow in denver, you know, unless it’s over a foot. salt? i don’t even think i’ve ever seen the city of denver salt the roads.

so, let me paint you a picture. well, not actually paint, but instead share a photo i snapped last night after hearing brene brown speak.

photo (9)

see that sheen on the road? that’s not because the road is wet. that’s because the road is frozen. i’ll repeat that. the. road. is. frozen. as in, no, the city of denver did not salt the road. or plow it. in fact, i didn’t even see the trucks out yesterday (because we only received about three inches in total). and, it’s almost as if the city comes alive when it snows. people take their dogs to the park. kids run around in the snow. people continue on with their merry lives like any other day.

so, why am i even talking about this? because i’m here to offer you some advice. next time it snows in st. louis, even an inch, don’t freak out. don’t buy the grocery store out of milk. learn to be patient when driving, and know how to get yourself out of a snowy situation.

and, if you don’t like the unpredictable weather, maybe it’s high-time you move south.